Guest blogger!!! Kim Johnson, Principal of Lincoln Elementary

Many of the things learned and practiced during PCT Training were not entirely new to me. I tend to approach discipline by asking questions, i.e. Why are you here? What did you do? Did you get what you wanted? Was it worth it?. etc. However, the training has helped me be more focused and intent with my questions. Before, I just asked questions without knowing exactly where they would lead.

I had the opportunity to put my new skills into practice right away on Monday.

Me: What did you want?
Student: To get my library book from my locker.
Me: What did you do?
Student: I asked very politely if I could go to my locker.
Me: And did it work?
Student: No, she told me I couldn't.
Me: So what did you do?
Student: Nothing
Me: So why are you here?
Student: Because when we returned to the room, I asked to use the restroom. We had the chance to go earlier but I didn't need to.
Me: So you wanted to use the restroom.
Student: Yes
Me: What did you do?
Students: I asked politely if I could go use it.
Me: Did that work?
Student: She said I could but I would need to lose recess.
Me: What did you want?
Student: To use the restroom but I didn't want to lose recess.
Me: What did you do?
Student: I used it but now I have to miss recess.
Me: So you got what you wanted, the chance to use the restroom.
Student: Yeah, but I shouldn't have to miss recess.
Me: Could you have chosen not to use the restroom and still have your recess?
Student: Yes, but I would have used it on myself.
Me: So it sounds like you made a good decision. I'll see you at recess.

This is a repeat offender who does a lot of playing around to avoid doing what is asked. I remained calm, he remained calm and could see that he chose not to have recess, and I was able to support my teacher. The bottom line (and we know that there are 'bottom lines') is that he must do what his teacher asks him to do, even if it does not make him happy.

The other major thing I discovered upon returning to school is the common language that I now share with my counselor, social worker, and the two teachers who joined us in training. At this point, we think it would be helpful for all staff to participate in ACT 1 so that we can share a common language in regards to behavior. This is similar to what we have done through extensive PD in reading with good results.

A big part of PCT is being reflective of our own behaviors. What I want now is to be productive. What I am going to do is take in a movie with my daughter. And yes, that works for me in being the kind of mom I want to be. (I am not even going to go look at her room!)

Keep warm,
Kim

A little honesty......

As Marlene mentioned earlier, Perceptual Control Theory is not a quick fix. It is a new way of thinking, and change is not easy or fast.

On Friday and over the weekend, I have felt like I used to when I came home from church camp. When I was in jr. high and high school, I would go to church camp for a week each summer and be inspired, only to step back into daily life, where it was much tougher to live out the ideals I aspired to.

Changing one's way of thinking is a process, and I'm only a few days into it. On Friday, I felt exhausted at the end of the day from being so conscious of every word and action and from asking so many questions! But the seeds have been planted, and I know it's worth it -- just like church camp.

Better go get everything ready for tomorrow morning. I don't HAVE to go to A.M. duty, I have the OPPORTUNITY to...LOL! :)

Go Pacers!

We're home!!!!!!!!!!

We're finally home and can't wait to see everybody! We have had some WONDERFUL comments from y'all both in the comment section and in email, and we have LOVED to read them!

Our plan is to keep this blog alive for as long as it is relevant, so keep checking back! Also, you might want to click on the comment section at the end of each posting to see what others are saying. We are hoping to have some guest bloggers soon!

Looking forward to CONNECTING with everyone tomorrow.

Go Pacers!!

On the way home!!!

Hey, everybody!

We are in the Savannah airport headed home. Yeah!!! I miss my little girls!!!

At the end of our session today, we had to share the thing that made the greatest impact on us this week, and I wanted to share mine with you (I actually had two)................

1. Ask, don't tell - Will you please get your book out? Not "Please get your book out." Could you please go to the hall? Instead of "Go to the hall." You get the idea. (Note: I edited this entry because the "telling" statements were in all caps to highlight the differences between the two statements; however, the CAPS may have been perceived as "yelling," which was not my intent.)
   
2. If I need to change something in my life - my class, my job, my family, etc... - the change has to start with me. I can only control myself and no one else.

My goal is to be the person I want to be -- the teacher, wife, mom, friend, daughter, coach, and all the hats I wear.

Be the change you want to see in your class, school, family, community, world.

See ya tomorrow! Go Pacers!!!

From Marlene.......

Hello. I hope everyone is having a good week. Although this has been a great experience and we are learning so much, I think we can all three agree that we are ready to be home. Shane has added to the blog today, so I am going to try hard not to repeat what he or Shannon have already shared.

One of the principles of this theory is “Ask, Don’t Tell.” The first question we need to ask ourselves is “Who do I want to be?” The answer to that question should help drive us to do what we need to do to be the person/teacher/etc. that we want to be. For example, when Shannon wouldn’t get out of bed this morning, I had to ask, “What kind of person do you want to be?” I won’t share her answer with you, but you need to know she did get up and made it to the conference ON TIME!!!! (J/K)

Seriously, what kind of person do we want to be? By self-evaluating, we make our decisions by discipline within. I know we keep saying this, but it all starts with us. Before we can look at changing anything within our climate/students/family, we have to be willing to look at what we are doing and what we can control. We “bump it up” when we no longer look at other factors, such as others’ behaviors, as obstacles in achieving what we want. We do what we do because of the kind of person we want to be.....ultimately. Many times I am guilty of starting out on this level of principle; then I start in with the, "but if he would only....." or "if they could only.....". I can only control myself. What kind of teacher do I want to be? What would that look like? How do I make it happen?

Point of Reference is part of the vocabulary that you will hear us refer to quite often. Your reference is what you know (reading strategy-connection) from your experiences, family, culture, etc. We all have difference points of reference. We'll talk later about how to connect these points of reference.

Looking forward to seeing everyone on Friday!

Here's our Fearless (Assistant) Leader - Shane!!

Hello to everyone at Plaza. The trip has been cold and long. Not the best combination in the world. The seminar has been interesting from several points of view. I have gained valuable experience from other teachers and administrators about school discipline, management, and communication. The seminar has really allowed me to think about the way I control myself and how I would like to see others work to control themselves. One of the focal points of the seminar or Applied Control Theory is that you can only control yourself. Think how great it would be if you had control over everyone, life would be so easy. Instead, we try daily to control everyone’s actions which are an exhausting task day after day. You go home exhausted and not looking forward to the next day while the student goes home with tons of energy. This is where we need to work to put the decisions and the behavior back on the student. We should analyze the behavior for the real reason why the child is acted out. Does the problem stem from the student not understanding how to behave? Does the student choose not to behave or is the student just having a terrible day? These are some of the questions that we should be asking or already know through relationships. We should strive to increase communication and understanding with each and every student, teacher, and administrator. This is an area that I certainly need to work on. In the seminar one of the main focuses is relationships. We must have relationships that are meaningful and caring with everyone involved in the educational process at Plaza Park. It has become apparent to me throughout my life that if people truly believe that you care then you can maximize their output. Well I am not much of a blogger or whatever this is but take care and be careful until next time. Peace out.

Day 3

Hello! Today has been my favorite day so far! Some highlights for me........

The first presenter talked about opportunity vs. obligation. When something is a "got to" - an obligation - then one starts to resent the people responsible for the obligation. I have to ask myself, "Who do I want to be?". Everything should be looked at as an opportunity; we don't HAVE to do anything. We don't HAVE to go to work; we can choose to not have a job. We don't HAVE to exercise; we can choose to be unhealthy....etc....you get the idea.

The first obligation that popped into my head was grading papers. It is my biggest dread........ I love just about every other aspect of what I do, but the thought of grading papers overwhelms me. It's not the grading itself; it's the time and great number of them. But I have to ask, "Who do I want to be?" Well, the answer is that I want to be a teacher that helps my kids learn all they can, and that involves feedback from their teacher. So, I need to "bump it up" and get over the "got to," resentful mode and think, "Hey, this is a great OPPORTUNITY to help my students!" If I am stronger and am the person I want to be, does that make my students stronger? Yes! Does that make my class stronger? My school? My corporation? My community? Yes, yes, yes, and yes!

ALWAYS OPPORTUNITY, NEVER OBLIGATION - YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO!

On to another thought, say "yes" as much as possible. I've heard Linda T. mention this before from one of her daughter's friend's parents. As a parent and teacher, I have to admit that I didn't get this at first, but the idea - and I agree now - is to say "yes" to the stuff that DOESN'T MATTER! Let kids have control over things that you don't really care about or don't have a great significance. YOU have to decide.......... Does it matter.....if he has sagging jeans? if students are quiet while working? if he does his homework? is she writes neatly? if she has a clean locker? Does it matter when my four-year-old wants to take ten stuffed animals in the car on the way to school? No, not all.....so, why not just say yes?

I've really been thinking about what kind of person I want to be and what that looks like. I've been considering what I value........loving family and friends, growing in faith, working hard, serving others, being generous, and so forth. But what does it look like if I am living out these values? What am I doing? I'm getting a clearer picture of that. So.........

Who do YOU want to be?

Go Pacers!! :)

Here's Marlene!!!!!!!!

Since Shannon has decided write a novel to share about ACT (Applied Control Theory), I will try to keep this short and simple today. Ken texted me earlier to tell me to bring back all the answers; I reminded him that I already had all the answers. He agreed.

All joking aside, don't expect us to come back with the magical fairy dust to share solving all of our problems and concerns. To understand Applied Control Theory (or sometimes called Perceptual Control Theory), we have to be able to shift our thinking from "how can we make these kids do what we want" to "we can only CONTROL ourselves". Our ultimate goal would be to help the students learn to control themselves to be responsible and independent, but we will get to that later. We need to start with ourselves. What do I want? What kind of person/teacher do I want to be?

Another thing that I am thinking a lot about is making connections. How well are we connected with each other, let alone connected to the students or students connected to each other? It is amazing how "connected" we can be by just participating in a few activities. As a personal testimony, I will admit that even though I seem like a social person, I do not like to "socialize with people I don't know" at workshops. I hate the whole idea of small talk. But after being "forced" to participate in these connecting activities, I am finding that I am enjoying and being much more tolerant of my small group than I would have been otherwise. I even stayed after class today to talk in depth with a mental health director, but that is a whole other story. :)

I know many of you have expressed interest in what we will be learning and what we will bring back. As we share through this blog and when we start to talk about this when we return, I ask that you keep an open mind. This is not a warm fuzzy, I'm ok-you're ok kind of program. It is a theory, a different way of thinking about why we do what we do and what we want. I look forward to sharing these ideas with you.

Hi, everybody!!

I have had really bad luck with the Wi-Fi service here; it’s off and on. Unfortunately, it’s been off when I want to work on the blog.

This will be a long entry, so stick with us……..Don’t forget to comment at the end!!

The book I read before the trip was In Pursuit of Happiness by E. Perry Good. Based on title, one might wonder how it relates to educating students. But the concept of this entire theory is about controlling ourselves, so making ourselves happy will change who we are with kids. We all have four basic needs:

• Love – belonging, friendship, caring, and involvement.
• Power – importance, recognition, skill, and competence.
• Fun – pleasure, enjoyment, learning, and laughter.
• Freedom – choice, independence, liberty, and autonomy.
  

“If you meet these needs you are happy. If you don’t, you are unhappy. This sounds simple. But it’s not THAT simple.”

“…….all our actions are directed towards meeting one or more of these needs and……how to choose the most effective behavior to meet each. The achievement of happiness and personal fulfillment is possible when we maintain the balance of love, power, fun, and freedom in our lives.”

Happiness is a CHOICE; we cannot depend on others to make us happy. We can only control OURSELVES.

Moving on……………..Some of my notes from yesterday (MY comments are in parentheses):

• A Connected School is achieving, caring, and safe.
  
• Academic Achievement Traced:
  *6% to teaching techniques and lesson presentations (WOW! Much lower than what we give ourselves credit for!)
  *16% to factors over which the school has no control (not nearly as much as we complain about!)
  *78% to the quality of human interaction in the school (this is a real eye-opener for me! Maybe I’m focusing too much on the wrong things……)


• Precursors to Violence:
  *Does not feel part of the group
  *Does not have behaviors to deal with frustration
  *Shame of being ashamed (it’s OK to make a mistake!!)


• Keys to violence prevention – providing students a way to:
  *Be connected to the group
  *Learn to understand what to do when they are frustrated
  *Learn to self-evaluate. Learn to say, “It’s OK to make a mistake.”


• “There is no secret to being a good connected teacher. If you know how your students feelthere won’t be school shootings and there won’t be boys and girls of desperation. It isn’t rocket science. It’s connection, connection, connection.” – Dr. Bill Pollack, Director of FBI Profiling Unit for School Shootings


• Kids like to do the right thing, but teachers often get in the way! For example, kids helping each other in class but then the teachers gets on them for talking. (I know I’ve done this...)


• Top three traits businesses are looking for: Teamwork, Problem solving, and Interpersonal skills. Writing, Computation, and Reading are #10, 12, and 13.


• We want kids who are responsible, independent, and self-disciplined.


• If we can only control ourselves and NOT others (kids/teachers), then we have to TEACH others how to control themselves.


• Anytime you want something from your students or staff, always ASK, don’t TELL. You are much likely to get what you want. We have to lead kids/teachers, to their own answers.


• Rewards and punishment – which teachers has always done – we have to SHOW kids/teachers how to be responsible for themselves.


• If I don’t like what my students/staff/spouse/children are doing, then I have to change what I am doing. (This is really hard for me…I want to change others; I certainly cannot be the problem!! But I can only control MYSELF and no one else. I cannot continue to do the same things and expect different results.)


• The relationships you develop have a great deal of influence on the perception you have of people. This takes a lot of work and effort. (When we have relationships with students and staff, it’s a lot harder to be upset with a person when you KNOW them. This is one reason why helping to connect the staff through social events, etc… It means a lot to ME to develop those relationships because somewhere down the road it helps me to understand/work with another staff member.)


• People WANT to be connected!!


• Everyone has different points of references. When we ask a student to show respect, what does that look like to each student? Is their picture of respect the same as my picture? When an administrator asks a teacher to be professional, are their pictures of professionalism the same?


• In a connected school, we keep the rules and consequences, and we add a system of beliefs and values.

On a lighter note, don’t hate us because we’re in Hilton Head…….the weather is FREEZING, and we have to walk to everything outside. We LOOKED at the beach but didn’t go down there. The hotel is beautiful (pictures below), and I would highly recommend it – in WARM weather!!! A funny story…….when we were leaving the airport, we were walking through the rental cars. Shane saw a PT Cruiser and said, “Our car is a PT Cruiser. No, I’m just kidding. I’m hoping for a Charger.” We walked to our slot, and look at the car we got! Shane is so embarrassed to drive it!! I tried to get him to pose with it, but he wouldn’t! LOL!

Go Pacers!!!

A Connected School

Hello!

Before departing to the conference, Jo gave Shane, Marlene, and me each books to read and share. Marlene was the first one finished, and her recap of her book is below:

A Connected School by E. Perry Good, Jeff Grumley, and Shelley Roy; New View Publications 2003

Some thoughts on Action Control Theory or Perceptual Control Theory....

Who can you control? The only person you can control is yourself . We know we can’t control others (kids, other staff members, parents, and even our own families), and yet we spend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to do just that!! The idea behind ACT is to have “connected” people controlling themselves.

It’s not about yet another “program”, school reform, new learning theory, or what is right or wrong with schools. It is about creating “connected” culture to help students (and others) discover discipline within themselves, connections to to each other and to learning, and ultimately to be the people they want to be. --Marlene

Can't wait to learn more!

Go Pacers!

Upcoming training

Hello!

This blog is dedicated to Perceptual Control Theory training. This is being created specifically for the staff of Plaza Park Middle School to benefit our students; however, I hope that many others benefit from our learning!!!

Go Pacers!