We are in the Savannah airport headed home. Yeah!!! I miss my little girls!!!
At the end of our session today, we had to share the thing that made the greatest impact on us this week, and I wanted to share mine with you (I actually had two)................
- Ask, don't tell - Will you please get your book out? Not "Please get your book out." Could you please go to the hall? Instead of "Go to the hall." You get the idea. (Note: I edited this entry because the "telling" statements were in all caps to highlight the differences between the two statements; however, the CAPS may have been perceived as "yelling," which was not my intent.)
- If I need to change something in my life - my class, my job, my family, etc... - the change has to start with me. I can only control myself and no one else.
My goal is to be the person I want to be -- the teacher, wife, mom, friend, daughter, coach, and all the hats I wear.
Be the change you want to see in your class, school, family, community, world.
See ya tomorrow! Go Pacers!!!
Hmmmm....I have always used the tell, don't ask method. Respectfully..but I don't want to give students the option not to cooperate. What is wrong with "Please open your books to page..."?
ReplyDeleteGreat question, and I completely understand it. My understanding is that if we ASK someone to do something, then they have control over deciding whether or not to do it. But if we TELL someone to do something, even respectfully and politely, WE are trying to control THEM, which we cannot do. Shane, Marlene, or anyone else, if you have a better explanation, please add!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. I don't think that EVERY form of communication needs to be the format of a question. We need to ask ourselves WHAT IS IT THAT WE WANT? If we say "Please open your books" and they do that, everything is "in balance" so to speak. However, if someone refuses to do that, we need to realize that we can only control what WE are doing. We can't MAKE that student do that. So, by asking him/her what is it that you want? and continuing with the kind of questioning we have practiced and will share soon, the student will be in control of making his/her decision. Realize as well that a connection should have been made prior and that hopefully will make a difference in what the student "wants" to do in our classes.
ReplyDeleteI hope this makes some kind of sense. Remember, the ideas we are sharing are not fairy dust.....we are not saying "ask-don't tell" and everything will be hunky-dory :)
The fact that we CANNOT control anything or anybody besides ourselves is a hard concept to swallow. I am still battling it and will for a long time, I'm sure. Anyone who knows me knows I like to be in total control....of everything :) Also, anyone who knows me knows I cannot answer/speak/write a brief response. Sorry!
Keep the questions and thoughts coming. It helps us to refine our thinking as well. Thanks for keeping an open mind and thinking about this!!!!
Marlene